(...Or lack thereof...)
Yes, I have written these an oh-so-incredibly long time ago that I seem to have forgotten how terrible they really are. However, if you can stomach it, I present to you ... my poetry.
The sticky, bloody knife
Is gripped tightly in my hand
My legs won’t support my weight
I can barely stand.
The blood won’t wash off my hands
The guilt won’t flee from my mind
The ghosts won’t turn away
And leave me far behind.
Her laughter was too harsh
My broken heart too ripped
Her eyes bade me last farewell
And there was death upon her lips.
Everything went black and
The knife just twisted deeper
I did not hear her screams
All I saw was the grim reaper.
He came to take her soul away
And left me to taste of my crop
I’ve had all I can, the blood stains my hands
Please make the voices stop!
No more laughter escapes those merry lips
No more twinkles in those lifeless eyes
No more happiness, no more warmth
No more smiles, only sighs
I hold her body in my arms
And my tears run down her cheek
All I think are dreadful thoughts
Of a future, cold and bleak.
I can remember happy days
Of sun and warmer weather
The times where we were young
And we frolicked in the heather.
Her kisses, sweet and gentle
As they fell upon my cheek
Sweet lips of an angel
Are forever cold and bleak.
Her hair the color of sunshine
Is now dull and without luster
Her hands are cold and clammy
Her cheeks have lost their color.
I am standing on her grave
She has not been dead a week
I want to join her in her grave
For my heart is cold and bleak.
She stood on the edge of the cliff
Blue eyes sparkling with wonder
Gold curls caressed by nature’s breath
The water churned below
Froth crowning choppy waves
She gets on her knees and leans forward
A closer look she craves
She cuts her palm on the sharp rock
She tumbles towards the brine
It’s there to claim her, body and soul
For searchers, it leaves no sign.
Not even twelve years old
Her young, bright life just begun
Almost twelve years old
Never again to see the sun
I can’t forget you my dear
Your image is a brand on my mind
Your presence is my constant shadow
Relief I cannot find
For all the attention I give it
Your gave might not have been dug
Your curls, your eyes, your smile
My addiction, my most potent drug
If you approached me now
I would not be surprised
I can feel you now, in my arms
You follow me with your eyes
Your memory held my hand
At your funeral procession
I cannot let you go, forgive me…
Caroline!!
My daughter
My love
…
My obsession
No emotions sparkle
In those glassy, cornflower eyes
Rouged cheeks, and painted lips
Gold curls that were our demise
They stand in a row before me
Each and every the same
Each a perfect copy of you
And my love, they share your name
Caroline, my Caroline
Though your body lies cold in the grave
A dozen incarnations of you
Represent the memories I managed to save
Of voices, they have none
I dared not give them that
But in every other aspect of
You, they are exact
My dolls, my lovely dolls
I jerk their invisible strings
They dance for me, they dance for us
For what amount of pleasure it brings
They are not here to replace you
My love, don’t even think such!
It’s just…
My darling, my love, my dear…
I miss you so very much.
This is actually very scary
How she can see right through me
I know nearly nothing of her
Yet she knows me perfectly.
How very strange
But how can this be?
I don’t know her
Yet she knows me?
And it took so long for me to see
That I love her, and she may love me.
I thought I knew her inside out
But now I’m beginning to have my doubts
As for her, well, it’s plain to see
I don’t know her, but she knows me.
How very strange
But how can this be?
I don’t know her
Yet she knows me?
And it took so long for me to see
That I love her, and she may love me.
I thought I knew her inside out
But now I’m beginning to have my doubts
As for her, well, it’s plain to see
I don’t know her, but she knows me.
Can it be, she might truly, love me?
You would no longer be scorned
Instead, you would be adored
You would be loved and not despised
If they could see you through my eyes.
If I didn’t love you
Could I see you the way I do now?
And allow you to see through my eyes?
You’d be worshiped, you would be revered
Instead of hated, instead of feared
Men would sigh a thousand sighs
If only they could see you through my eyes.
In my eyes, you are priceless
In my eyes, you are sacraficless
I’d soon give up my own head than you
Such are my visions.
Men would truly be in heaven
If they could see you through my eyes.
Oh! If they could only…
For a moment in the smallest measure…
If they could see you through, my eyes.
To the villain goes the castoffs
For the villain never wins
The heroes get the booty
And the heroines.
A villain isn’t kind or good
They’re almost always misunderstood
And the heroes always do what they should
To the villain goes the castoffs.
The hero gets the girl and the villain gets the axe
Villains don’t know when to stop and never call it pax.
Heroes know the right thing to do
Though it doesn’t always mean they’ll do it
But it all turns out right in the end
Becauses it’s always the villain who blew it.
Heroes may sometimes be a bit dim
And the villains have all the power
But I have yet to read a book
Where the villain lives happily ever after.
Visions
Visions!
Hazy visions
Of a future
Cold and alone.
Visions
Visions!
Hazy visions
A villain
With a heart of stone.
Whisper no comments
Say no words
As the visions come and go.
Of gory combat
Of grim victory gained
Countless numbers
Of the slain.
Blood soaked earth
A blackened sun
One legend ended
Another begun.
Ring, O’ bells
Your sorrowful tune.
Ring your cries of
Doom doom doom!
Doom!
To those both old and young!
Doom!
To those whom this song is sung!
Fate
Fate!
O’ horrid fate!
Mercy!
We cry mercy!
Our lives snuffed out
Like candles in the wind
O’, we pray
Have pity!
Fortune’s wheel turns round n’ round
Ev’r up, ev’r down
But we are always on the ground
Upon us Lady Fortune frowns.
Hope
Hope!
There is no hope.
We are finished
And ill-fated
Look at what
One misdeed has created!
Now I fear
As I have right to fear
This warning is belated.
We are but pawns
In the game of fate
But by the time we know
It is too late.
Heed
Heed!
My warnings heed!
The visions are fading
They’ll soon be gone
They’re going.
The river of chaos is beginning to flow
Even the dead
Are mourning.
Stars
Stars!
Stars above!
Look down upon us
Help us through
This horrid crisis.
Please, O’ fate,
We beg of you!
Help us!
Help us!
Help us through!
Sanctuary
Sanctuary!
Please, O’ please
Grant us sanctuary!
The horrors of these visions
Are soon in coming
Who shall save us?
Us poor souls running?
O’, I fear
As I have right to fear
That help shall come
Too late.
Visions
Visions!
Hazy visions
Are fading
From my sight.
Visions
Visions!
Hazy visions
Have left
And have been replaced with fright.
As my world fell around me
And darkness settled in
And bitterness occupied the space
Where happiness had been
When Death’s gentle whisper
Became a seductive allure
The day my world was crumbling
My broken soul had no cure
And when all the hollow darkness
Seemed to stretch on without an end
And the Heavens appeared closed to me
No angels would they send
You came right through the darkness
To mend my broken soul
You swept up the fragments
To once more make me whole
And I will never forget
The look upon your face
When you placed my heart back in my chest
And it began to run its pace
An old world has been demolished
The world where you weren’t there
Now we can create a new world
That’s only ours to share.
‘The truth will set you free’
Is a phrase that’s often read
But one’s hard-pressed to tell the truth
When lies are easier said
Consider, if you will
A prisoner at his trial
If he confesses to his sin
It was hardly worth his while
For when a noose is all he gains
And he’s already damned to hell
How can he really make it worse?
What’s one more lie he tells?
And what about the blushing youth
Who is going through hard times?
Does she not turn to her friends?
To hear them tell her lies?
‘It will get better,’ is what they say
They are lying through their smiles
But with that lie, they have managed
To be a comfort, for a while
And what if they told the truth and said
‘It’s worse from here on out’?
That fragile world comes crashing down
And bloody wrists come about.
And finally, the loving wife
Who is cheating on her spouse
The truth erupts from her in tears
And stumbles from her mouth
And if she had just lied…
…If that had been her course
Then he –for love - would have believed her
And not have ended in divorce.
And now I end this with these words
Lies are very couth
And a lie will you get further
Than a simple truth.